


Darling, Hold My Hand

by catherinegrant



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Ficset, Fluff, Gifset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9290585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catherinegrant/pseuds/catherinegrant
Summary: Cat wants to know why Kara hesitated to hold her hand earlier in the park that day.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Paucibet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paucibet/gifts).



> Thanks as always to my beta, [captainjaybird](http://archiveofourown.org/users/captainjaybird), and also to [fictorium](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium) for giving this a quick look-over for me.

This work depends on a custom workskin. If you are seeing this message, please scroll up and click _Show Creator's Style_. Alternatively, if you are reading this via an e-reader or app and the images are not showing up at all, please read directly on AO3. The gifset contains the following text:

Kara: Cat, what's wrong?  
Cat: You mean besides that god awful shirt you showed up to work in this morning?  
Kara: You're mad at me, aren't you?  
Cat: Oh, why would you think that?  
Kara: Talk to me.  
Cat: About what, how you're ashamed to be seen with me in public?  
Kara: I'm not ashamed of you.  
Cat: Then why did you change your mind and pull your hand away?  
Cat: I just want you to hold my hand.

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It took a moment for it to finally click. The park. They’d been taking a walk in the park when Kara had absentmindedly reached for Cat’s hand. She’d pulled away once she’d realized what she was doing, not wanting to embarrass her. But it would seem she had miscalculated, because now Cat was averting her gaze, looking everywhere but at her, and she’d never seen her look so _small_. Even now, standing straight and proud, Cat looked as though she were made of glass and one wrong touch could shatter her.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said, fiddling with her glasses. She reached out, needing to feel Cat’s skin beneath her fingertips, but Cat took a step back and Kara flinched.

“Don’t,” Cat warned, her jaw clenched tight. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice?”

It was Kara’s turn to look away. “I didn’t think you’d want that.”

“We are dating, _Kara_.” Cat spat her name out like a threat waiting to be delivered. “Why would I not want you to hold my hand? It’s not as though you have diphtheria.”

“Because you never do stuff like that!” Kara cried out.

“Such as? Do tell.”

“Mushy stuff! Hand holding, hugging, I dunno, PDA! Not in public!” She wanted to take Cat’s hand and soothe away the sting of every single time she had ever been denied affection in her life, but instead she just waited, clutching her hands together tightly, not trusting herself not to reach out again.

Cat didn’t reply, opting instead to lean out over the railing. Kara followed suit, looking down at the crowds of people hurrying about, trying to focus on some of their conversations to distract herself from the silence, but instead all she could hear was the pounding of her own blood in her veins. It was deafening.

“My mother called today,” Cat said finally.

Kara let out a small ‘oh’ as the pieces began to come together in her mind. “What did she say?”

Cat turned to her. “What do you think she said? Word had apparently traveled through the grapevine that you and I were dating and she felt it necessary to inform me of what a huge mistake I’m making.” She laughed hollowly. “That you would ruin my career. That you’re only interested in me for my money and that of course you’d much rather be with someone more desirable, someone your own age, so clearly the only logical conclusion is that you’re a gold digger.” Sighing, she pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Sometimes I think that woman is incapable of forming a coherent sentence if it isn’t vitriol.”

Kara started to open her mouth, but Cat held up her hand. “Yes, I know it’s complete and utter nonsense. Even if you weren’t the most sickeningly wholesome person I have ever met in my entire life”—Kara bit back a smile—“I work hard for this body and I know damn well how desirable I am. I’ve no doubt that you want me.”

Kara’s face flushed red and she pressed her bare thighs together, squirming a little.

“And it’s not as if I need it, you know, all this.” Cat shrugged. “I have Carter, and my work, and I was perfectly fine on my own. I’m not even sure why I bothered, honestly. It doesn’t seem like you’re serious about this relationship anyway.” She pulled up her shoulders, her expression turning vacant.

Kara tensed as she watched the tell-tale signs of Cat shutting herself off, and she said, “Do you know why I really pulled away? I was worried about scaring you off.”

Cat scoffed. “Kara, I have traveled to war zones, I have had sit-downs with some of the most influential people in the world. I was on Oprah, for god’s sake. And more importantly, I am currently raising a teenage boy. Why on earth would you think that a little public intimacy would frighten me?”

“Because of how long it took you to let me in,” Kara admitted softly. “When I first came to work for you I was sure there was something more behind that carefully crafted façade that you put up at work. There _had_ to be.” She dug her nails into her palm. “I have spent every single solitary second since I got to this planet in constant vigilance about my behavior. Trying to fit in, trying to be Kara Danvers, not Kara Zor-El. Trying to be human. So how could I not recognize a front when I see one? That’s why I made it my mission to get to know the real woman behind the mask.” 

She went to tuck an errant strand of hair out of Cat’s face, and this time Cat didn’t pull away. “And every single time I think I’ve finally found her, I discover there’s more to you than I could have ever imagined, and I find myself falling in love all over again.”

Rolling her eyes, Cat huffed out a laugh that didn’t quite manage to cover up a sniffle. “Millennials…”

“She’s wrong, you know. Your mother. I carry the loss of an entire planet, every day. Before I got here I spent years trapped in a body that couldn’t move, thinking about the death of everyone I loved, imagining their screams, over and over and over again, until I couldn’t distinguish them from my own. I know what it’s like to lose _everything_ , and I never want to make anyone else go through what I have. Never again. I’m not her, I’m not going to just abandon you if you don’t meet my every expectation. I’m going to love you just the way you are, and I’m not going to leave you, not unless it’s something we both want. I’ll hold your hand every day, proudly so, and I am so, so sorry that I made you feel like I could ever be ashamed of you.”

Cat turned back to her, her eyes glassy from unshed tears, and Kara couldn’t stay away any longer, pulling her into a tight hug and smoothing a hand down her back. Cat melted into the caress and Kara stroked her hair and just held her, letting her shoulder grow damp from the tears Cat had finally let fall. “Kara,” she choked out.

“I’ve got you,” she said, rocking her back and forth as Cat gripped onto her tight enough to bruise if she wasn’t bulletproof. “It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

All the sounds of traffic and city life seemed to fade away, until all that remained was the sound of Cat’s heartbeat and the staccato of her breathing as Kara held her tightly. Kara pulled back slowly and then leaned in again to brush her lips gently against Cat’s. It always felt like the first time every time they kissed. Cat was like a drug, intoxicating and life-altering, and Kara wondered how she had survived so long without her.

Kara kissed her until they were both breathless and trembling, her hands fisted into Cat’s blazer and her thigh slotted between Cat’s legs. Cat moaned into Kara’s mouth, eliciting a shudder, and Kara nipped at her lower lip playfully as she felt her lower back collide with the balcony.

“Take me home, Supergirl,” Cat whispered.

Kara swept her up into her arms. “I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on tumblr [here](https://catherinegrant.tumblr.com/post/154925468251/darling-hold-my-hand-for-paucibet-it-took-a)


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